Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Coping with grief

My sister lost her only 22-year-old son just over a month ago. A child who was vivacious, full of life, witty, humerous, the apple of everybody's eye and the focal point of my sister's life.

And the family is left struggling with the grief. My sister does not want to live life any more without him and daily chores are an effort for her to go through. Her husband is trying to drown himself in work to escape the grief. My other sister, who was his foster mother and best friend of sorts, is grappling with her grief silently.

But I saw a remarkable phenomenon in the circle of friends that my nephew and my son were part of. They closed in on my son and provided whatever emotional strength he needed to cope with the loss of a cousin who is just two months older than him and who has been his buddy throughout life. The same group also threw a ring of comfort round my sister and her husband in their trauma. A visit now, a meal demand then. The integration was complete. The message clearly is, you have lost a son, but gained a bunch of kids as your companions.

The struggle to cope with the loss of a child is beyond anybody's comprehension. However, anyone else who has gone through such situations may have a word of succor. Sincerely look forward to how you came to terms with your loss.