Coping with grief

My sister lost her only 22-year-old son just over a month ago. A child who was vivacious, full of life, witty, humerous, the apple of everybody's eye and the focal point of my sister's life.

And the family is left struggling with the grief. My sister does not want to live life any more without him and daily chores are an effort for her to go through. Her husband is trying to drown himself in work to escape the grief. My other sister, who was his foster mother and best friend of sorts, is grappling with her grief silently.

But I saw a remarkable phenomenon in the circle of friends that my nephew and my son were part of. They closed in on my son and provided whatever emotional strength he needed to cope with the loss of a cousin who is just two months older than him and who has been his buddy throughout life. The same group also threw a ring of comfort round my sister and her husband in their trauma. A visit now, a meal demand then. The integration was complete. The message clearly is, you have lost a son, but gained a bunch of kids as your companions.

The struggle to cope with the loss of a child is beyond anybody's comprehension. However, anyone else who has gone through such situations may have a word of succor. Sincerely look forward to how you came to terms with your loss.

Some more about special education

I have been writing about a child with special needs whom the formal education system in the form of public schools in Delhi have been giving a difficult time, for some time.

But there is hope yet, and it comes from an unlikely source. The child was finally removed to a government school which is usually looked down upon. The teacher now only pushed the child to perform better but actually restored his faith in himself and he has actually performed reasonably well in class and been sent up to the next class. So much for our public school/private school divide.

Technology to the rescue you said?

Travelling by rail, last week, I decided to check on my cellphone, the confirmation of the railway ticket for the return journey. And got this reply:

H1 http status 404/witness/witness size=1 no shade=no shade some more squiggles followed. Status report witness/witness more squiggles
requested source not available apache tomcat end.

Left me wondering whether I had mistakenly sent this message to a departmental store.

However, the last part of the message seemed to indicate that I had sent a message to the US airforce.

Certainly did not help me with my rail reservation status.

My old trustworthy telephone told me - sabhi line vyasth hain. kuch der baad dial kijiye. (All lines to this route are busy. Please dial after some time.)

Technology as a solution provider, you said?

My daily dose of nature's tweets

When we moved from crowded Delhi to suburban Gurgaon, we were looking forward to some peace and quiet. The new house was everything we longed for. But quiet, it certainly was not. Our balconies were host to a huge variety of birds of all shapes, sizes and colours. We have photographed at least 20 unique birds. The 12 parrots in the crack in the building next to us have been the subject of numerous videos and photographs. Our crowning glory was when a peacock flew into our balcony on the second floor and called loudly on my son's ninth birthday.

Today the city is being rapidly urbanised. But I am hoping to capture on film the joys of nature's bounty which has been ours to enjoy for the last six years.

Disabled towards disorders

In my first post I mentioned the child who has an attention deficit syndrome. I meet his mother everyday and share her pain at the insensitivity displayed by schools and indeed the entire system.

The child was thrown out of a school after he was diagnosed with a disorder. The second school, a progressive public school in Dwarka, confined him with mentally retarded children.

But nobody remembered that thsi child also has some exceptional qualities - he is exceedingly good at sport and art. He was to have represented his school in socer at Bangkok and has designed the posters for the Times Internet Ltd treasure hunt.

What can be done to make our system more sensitive?

Helpful cops, thankless work

It was a nightmarish journey of over 50 km cutting through some of the most crowded parts of the National Capital Territory of Delhi. But it ws not the crowds that did me in. It was the severe water-logging due to an hour-long spell of heavy rain during peak traffic hour.

While the traffic was practically at a standstill, I was all admiration for a bevy of cops from the Delhi Police who had braved the intense showers to wade into the water, directing traffic through the motoroble sections and warning motorists to stay away from the deep water. Most importantly, they were doing this cheerfully even as angry and frustrated motorists out-honked each other. Probably because even their chief had left the comfortable environs of his office to reach the crowded India Gate circle. He was leading from the front and his men in white and blue were taking the right cues from him.

Giving children their space

A child from my children's friend's circle committed suicide because she could not cope with peer pressure on no getting into the college that her friends had not got into. A sad comment on our society that does not give children the means to cope with issues that either they or our society magnifies out of proportion.
A few months ago, a colleague came with another problem which could have similar repurcussions. Her son was was diagnosed as Attention Deficit Syndrome. A borderline case, his only problem has been with academic performance. The doctors recommended motivation as a solution to his problems. Instead the first school threw him out, the second placed him with mentally challenged children and the third, which has mediocre academic acheivements is letting him. be. Are we not pushing this child over the edge too?